Today, we saw you again! I’m now 13 weeks pregnant so there was another scan to check if you might have Down’s Syndrome (not that I would do anything WHATSOEVER if you do – but it was an opportunity to see you again, so we grabbed it).
Incidentally, we were told you are perfect! – we got to see your heart beating, your brain, your spine, your stomach, all 10 fingers and 10 toes, and your wiggly arms and legs and cutie-patootie face in profile. I’m not gonna lie to ya – at one point you rolled towards the front, kind of facing us, and your face looked a bit skeleton-y it kind of made me jump! I’m looking forward to you getting thicker flesh… even though this will mean you start taking up more of my body space, including squishing my lungs and intestines – but it’ll be worth it to have you less skeleton-y. Even though you are the cutest looking skeleton anyone has ever seen, I’m sure.
This time your daddy got a DVD so we could see you again when we got home and to keep a memory of you at the end of your first trimester – because at this point you have just become a fully formed little person (even though you’re still so tiny, like 7cm).
You’re the size of a feijoa!
At first, when your daddy asked for the DVD, the receptionist lady said to us “oh you’re better off getting it at the 20 week scan, you see more.” I could see in your daddy’s face that he didn’t want to be demanding. I also saw disappointment because he really did want the DVD and had regretted not getting it the first time. And I felt like asking the lady to keep her unnecessary opinions to herself (that’s not what she’s paid for!)… but, instead, I looked at your daddy and said “you could get a DVD next time AS WELL, honey.” And his face lit up and he said “yeah!” and the receptionist took her cue to just do as we asked her.
This just got me thinking baby – about how I want you to behave when you are born and growing up. And I want you to always know that, in life, the main thing you need to do is to listen to your heart: know what you want, and have courage in your own convictions. Act with integrity, kindness, and respect towards other people, but don’t let anyone steer you from going your own way. Your life is yours for the living.
Your daddy and I hope to guide you towards becoming a person that is driven, but not competitive, informed, but not biased, opinionated, but not judgemental, strong, but not hard, and gentle, but not weak. We cannot wait to meet you and discover the person that you are. And see you grow, and develop, and make a difference to the world in your own unique way.
And that was the coolest thing about today’s scan – I had a really strong sense of your presence, of you being my beautiful baby, but also of you being your own unique being. Moving in a way that you have chosen yourself. Even without conscious thought yet – you are the one who is choosing to wiggle abundantly, and turn away from the sonographer for some peace and quiet, and rest your arm behind your head, and suck your thumb, and poke your tongue out. It’s amazing, and I feel so humbled being your mother and enabling you to develop.
I love you now and always, my wonderful little belly bean.