Dear baby Beau
I know it’s somewhat of a cliché, but I literally love you more and more every single day.
This morning you were sat in your high-chair in the kitchen, watching daddy make me banana-egg pancakes, whilst I had a sleep in. Our Sunday morning ritual. When I walked into the room, I stopped for a moment and stared at you. You were playing with your plastic cups and watching daddy. “Hello, baby!” I said. And you dropped the cup you were holding and turned to where my voice came from, and you smiled at me in such a way that I felt my knees go weak. You seem to have a special smile that’s reserved just for me. Your cheeks lift, your eyes become crescent moon shapes, and your little tongue pokes out slightly. I couldn’t help thinking that what’s potentially greater than feeling my love for you, is seeing your love for me. And then I scooped you up into my arms, and you lay your head on my shoulder for a few seconds. This is the way you hug me. And these beautiful fragments of time is what makes my whole life up.
Last night, baby, your daddy and I had our second date. How quickly the last month has gone! You are quite poorly at the moment, with a chesty cold, so I was not the happiest about leaving you – but Granny came and you settled onto her lap reading books, so I was able to forget everything and be taken out by your handsome daddy. We went to a gorgeous restaurant for 3 yummy courses and champagne cocktails. I put on some make-up, and perfume, and wore a nice dress and high heels – and your daddy smiled at me in his own special way.
We talked about life and love, and planned our overseas trip with you for later in the year, and I realised something for the first time: I no longer talk about you as my baby, I talk about you as Beau. Your little personality is already filling our household and you become more interactive with us with each passing week. Of course you don’t talk yet, but you communicate with us and we have really begun to understand your ways and what it is that you enjoy. It was a lovely realisation. And an exciting one as we spoke of future plans with you, and the places we’ll go together. For the first time I saw us as much more than new parents, and a new baby – I saw us as family.
Baby, this is a gift I bought your daddy on my first day of maternity leave. It’s a wall hanging of our family values. The values we choose to live by, together. And the values we will keep in mind as we raise you.
Sometimes, baby, when we have had very little sleep, and it’s 30 degrees, and your daddy has had to work all day building houses and managing projects, and you’re poorly and upset, and I’m hot and sticky and aching in every muscle from holding and nursing you all night and day long… these are the days when our values have the most meaning. Not the days when we have had a sleep-in after date-night, and find ourselves with the time to sit down for breakfast together – but the days when the going gets tough, the days that feel long and arduous…
By having our values visible on the wall, it helps to keep it all in perspective. It acts as a reminder that we are blessed to share this life together. We live together, we grow together, and we celebrate and support one another always. We take care of and value one another, always focusing on the good… even when we get on each others nerves!
Being family might mean a mumma and a daddy and their children, which might be one, or two, or six or more children; or it might mean just a man and a woman, a husband and wife; or two men together; or two women; or just one mumma and her child(ren); or just one daddy and his child(ren); or some families have two mummas and two daddys; and then there are grandparents; brothers; sisters; aunties and uncles and cousins; and, sometimes, family is made up of fabulous friendships.
Being family, baby, means that you belong somewhere.
For you – we are yours. And you are ours.
Your Mumma. Xxx