I’m still here…

Dear baby Beau

I have been meaning to write to you every day, for a month now. But, somehow, I never seem to get passed just making the notes.

I know how. It’s because my life, for this short-lived time (far too short, I’m already realising), is all about you.

You. All 8 months of smiles and laughter and tears and love. Consuming me; leaving me breathless; showing me new ways; reminding me of old ones.

So as soon as I have the chance to think a complete sentence, I will write to you again and tell you all about this current time – a time where you are no longer a little baby, but not yet a little boy. And I will tell you about all of the things you are teaching me, all of the things we share, and I will write out all of those words that you have filled me with.

Until then – I will be busy loving you, letting the words of others inspire me, connecting me to the rest of the world. Which is still out there.

JJ Heller summed it all up, when she sang when I’m with you.

“…I could never count all the ways that you change me, baby…

…everyday the sky is a deeper shade of blue, when I’m with you.”

I love you so much that I’m sure sometimes my kisses might hurt you.

But you let me. And you look at me in a way that reminds me – I’m still here.

Mumma. Xxx


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